


like the dawn you broke the dark

by Ghost Guardian (AsexualAce)



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), My Inner Demons (Aphmau), My Inner Demons (Minecraft Roleplay)
Genre: Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Minecraft Roleplay Fanfiction, Multi, My Inner Demons -Aphmau, Polyamory, Possibly OOC, idk how do u tag 'depression and someone tries to kill u before they realize ur depressed'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22277110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsexualAce/pseuds/Ghost%20Guardian
Summary: It doesn’t even feel like an hour of rest before she’s being woken up by the now normal sting of a blade against her collarbone, skimming her flesh and grazing the bones lying beneath the skin pulled taut.“Leif?” She groans, squinting at the intruder. There’s a blade beneath her chin and a grin as sharp as one shimmering in the low light. Leif is there, eyes glinting and white hair creating a halo in the moonlight. His aura screams danger, but Ava can’t even bring herself to be afraid anymore.(alternatively, ava is depressed. leif is a killer. they make it work.)
Relationships: (main focus is Ava/Leif but its heavily implied that theyre all poly), Ava (Aphmau)/Leif (Aphmau), Ava/Asch/Noi/Leif/Pierce/Rhys, Ava/Leif
Comments: 6
Kudos: 94





	like the dawn you broke the dark

**Author's Note:**

> title and the song leif sings come from the song 'Like the Dawn' by the oh hellos! 
> 
> anyway i am starved for polyamorous content and i want leifva to at least be semi canon, though i doubt it will happen. they have the strongest bond and you can fight me on that (this is a joke dont fight me)

Ava is sobbing on the floor of her washroom, albeit quietly. She doesn’t want to wake up the Daemos, and she doesn’t want their attention. She is curled up between the wall and the sink, clutching her shirt in her hands as she blinks back a fresh wave of sorrow.

Thoughts swirl in her head, consuming her and forcing her to stay down on the cold tile, which is quickly becoming damp with her dropping tears.

‘Why the fuck am I doing this,’ Ava thinks bitterly, teeth worrying at her lips. ‘I can just suck it up like I always do, and go back to dealing with 5 idiot Daemos. But here I am! Sobbing like a baby on the floor. I should be better than this.’

Of course she knew why she was busy stifling tiny suffering noises. She didn’t want anyone to see her as more pathetic than she was. ESPECIALLY the demons hell bent on keeping her ‘prisoner’. (More like a glorified girlfriend, at this point) If they saw her… she didn’t know what they would do. And she didn’t really want to find out. If they coddled her or thought she was weak, or if they decided she was silly for crying... she shook her head. They probably, no, definitely wouldn't think that. It was her brain going haywire.

The wave of loneliness and anger and pure sadness eventually went away, and Ava gasps for air and blows her nose with some tissues from the counter. She leans her head back onto the cabinet under the sink and takes deep breaths. 

Wiping her eyes makes her feel marginally better, but as she looks at her ruddy, tear stained face in the mirror, she crumples. Splashing her face with cold water barely stops her from crying again. Shaky breath in, shaky breath out. In, out. 

Groaning absently, Ava twists the knob for the door and walks back into her room, shuffling her feet against the plush carpet. The static shock she gets as she bumps against her metal floor lamp is unwelcome but not surprising. Ava flops into bed unceremoniously, and curls up with her giant pencil and her countless pillows. There’s a void in her chest that’s yawning wide like a canyon and echoing like one too, and it becomes known in the form of saltwater tracking down her face. 

“Not again…!” Ava whines, scrubbing at her traitorous eyes. “ I can’t keep being this teary eyed…”

She doesn’t even bother stemming the flow this time. She just curls up tighter, dark hair splaying out on the covers, and cries herself to sleep.

It doesn’t even feel like an hour of rest before she’s being woken up by the now normal sting of a blade against her collarbone, skimming her flesh and grazing the bones lying beneath the skin pulled taut. 

“Leif?” She groans, squinting at the intruder. There’s a blade beneath her chin and a grin as sharp as one shimmering in the low light. Leif is there, eyes glinting and white hair creating a halo in the moonlight. His aura screams danger, but Ava can’t even bring herself to be afraid anymore.

“Trying to kill me again?” She murmurs, hands brushing over the silver weapon.

“Yep!” He murmurs back. “Are you going to let me?”

Looking at his eager smile, she almost feels bad for disappointing him, but then she remembers how  _ bad  _ she felt just a while ago- Ava would gladly welcome death.

“I will.”

Shock ripples over his features, the pretty blue eyes widening, and his grin becomes feral, marring the scar that runs over his right eye. His hands almost tremble with excitement, and he quickly shoves Ava so she’s lying on her back. She exhales as he raises the blade above her chest, and Ava closes her eyes as she hears him creak the bed springs. 

She feels the weapon pierce her skin, ever so slightly. A sting, nothing more, and she opens her eyes again.

Leif is hesitating. Why? He only hesitated when Ava threatened him, or when Asch told him no. What’s different about this time, she wonders idly.

The blade moves away. Leif carefully, carefully brushes the hair out of Ava’s eyes, and his expression is twisted into something resembling trepidation. 

“Why do you have tears on your face, Princess?” He whispers.

“... bad dream.”

“No. You’re lying.”

Ava turns her head away and pushes Leif’s hand away from her face in what will soon be anger. 

“Princess. Ava. Why were you crying?” He demands. He drops his prized weapons onto the bed and he moves closer to her. His armour creaks and he smells like the forest after a fresh rain.

“I…” she chokes, and a fresh wave of tears brim out of her eyes and onto her bed sheets. Leif is alarmed now, hands outstretched but not touching Ava. 

“I’m sad. I’m so sad, all the time. I don’t know what to do about it anymore, I never know what to do about it!” 

Ava presses her palms to her eyes. “I should be fine! I got help, I got therapy, and I talked about it. But it’s only getting worse!” 

Leif is slowly shifting forward as she talks, but Ava continues even as her eyes are covered. “We all graduated and everyone got a good job, a good life, a happy world, and all I got was debt and depression. What am I supposed to do now? All I have is you guys and Johnny, and I don’t have enough energy to take care of you guys all the time!”

“Ava…” 

“I’m so tired and I’m so sad.” She sobs, chest heaving with the effort needed to just  _ admit it _ after years of repressing it. “Nothing even matters to me anymore and I wish you would kill me so I wouldn’t need to  _ keep going-!” _

Leif holds her.

It’s a sudden and stiff hug on his end, but he lifts her up so he can hold her properly and affectionately.

Ava bursts out into renewed sobs and clutches at the green and black fabric. She shakes and falls apart in his arms. He pulls her into his lap and threads his fingers into her hair. He murmurs a lullaby to her, one that he had sung in the bath once before he realized he was singing out loud.

“You were the brightest shade of sun I had ever seen…” he whispers, rocking the both of them side to side. “Your skin was gilded with the gold of the richest kings… and like the dawn you woke the world inside of me, you were the brightest shade of sun when I saw you…”

It’s the sweetest he’s ever been to her. 

The realization only makes Ava sob harder and harder, until a half hour has passed and she’s all cried out again. Leif hasn’t stopped holding her, but the grip has relaxed and he has too. His hair tickles her neck as she moves her head off Leif’s shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem, Princess.”

She tucks her face against his chest. “Sorry for dumping all that on you though… it’s probably not what you wanted.”

Leif shrugs as best he can, and moves so he’s resting the both of them against the headboard. “Hey, depression happens.”

“Oh… you guys get depressed too…?”

“Well, when you live in a world where wars are an everyday thing and most of your population is dead after constant fighting, some people are bound to have trauma. Hell, just look at me.” 

“It’s not really evident that you’re sad all the time.” She sighs.

He brushes a hand through her hair and she shifts in his lap again. 

“I just have flashbacks to all the times I’ve killed people. I mean, I love killing, I love the rush and I love the gore… but the scent and the screaming still lingers. The blood clings to my skin, you know.”

“I don’t have trauma.” Ava admits quietly. “When I was born I lost the genetic lottery and my brain has been broken ever since.”

Leif snorts a laugh at that. Silence falls upon them like a blanket of fresh snow. They look out through the window, and Ava looks at the stars. 

“The sky is so much emptier here.” He says. Ava glances at the heavy clouds that promise rain in the near future, then up at the heavens. They glisten with light and secrets untold and she sighs.

“Do you know what light pollution is, Leif?” 

“Nope.”

“It’s when there’s so much light produced by humans, we can’t see the stars anymore. There’s millions of billions of stars out there, but humans destroyed the sky.”

Ava can’t see his face, but he hears the sudden  _ blink _ of his eyelashes fluttering in surprise. 

“Wow. I knew humans had a lot of stuff to rival magic on Daemos, but that’s crazy.” 

She tucks her face into his chest again. Leif hums, and she hears the reverberations, the soothing beat of his heart as he traces out the few remaining visible constellations.

Ava almost falls asleep again before Leif shifts. “Princess Ava, do you want me to leave you now?”

A sudden panic grips at her chest where the yawning void used to be, and she holds him tighter. 

“No!” She cries out. “P-please. Please don’t go. I don’t want to be alone.” 

He squeezes her back in confirmation. She relaxes again, panic subsiding, and she wriggles out of his lap. Ava lies down and tugs at the intricate cloth wrappings, and Leif follows her down and curls up with her.

“Spoon me?” She whispers hopefully. He furrows his brow, scar rippling with confusion.

“What’s that? Is there something called Knife to go with it? Can I stab people with it?” Leif asks eagerly, and Ava snorts.

“It’s a form of cuddling.. you and your partner lie front to back, and then you wrap your arms around each other. Here, let me show you.”

Ava rolls onto her side and tugs at Leif again, and he clumsily spoons her. Not close enough, though. She scoots closer and they’re fit together like puzzle pieces. Leif puts his hand on her waist and Ava tugs the blanket over their legs. Leif’s hand is protective, caring almost. It’s a complete opposite from him trying to kill her earlier, but it’s a welcome change.

Ava sighs out and looks towards the full moon in the sky. It, along with the other hand under her head, lulls her to sleep. And for the first time all night, she feels peace.

-

Morning light comes streaming through the windows. Ava blinks unhappily at the sunshine, and stretches like a cat in the lilac sheets. Dust motes swirl in the sunbeams, and the warm beams fall on the two resting partners. Contours of their bodies are vivid and starkly contrasted against the soft shadows, and Ava stares at the man clad in soft cloth and harsh armour.

In sleep, his face is so peaceful. His eyelashes are pale and long, and they flutter gently as he dreams. Leif is clutching at the sheets, where Ava had just vacated. His fingers seek out her warmth experimentally, like sprouts growing towards the sun.

Leif moans and yawns on the other side of the bed. His joints crack loudly and Ava winces at the snap snap snapping noise. Leif blinks, then stares at her. It’s almost if he can’t believe she’s realm for a moment. 

“Sleep well, Princess?” He croons, smile wide. Ava rolls her eyes and puts her hand on his hip and pulls him close. His skin is cool to the touch, normally, but right now it’s warm. 

“Yes, thanks to you.” She croons back at him, eyes half closed. Leif turns his head away, but puts another hand in her hair. It’s gentle, and his nails scrape in a good way. She almost trills at the back of her throat.

His face is so close to hers now. They’re lying entangled, side by side, and impulse floods her veins before she can stop it. She brings the hand that was on Leif’s hip up to his face, and gently manoeuvres their faces together.

The kiss isn’t anything special on its own. It’s awkward and Leif’s teeth are sharp, and plus they both have the smallest bit of morning breath, but the hesitant little gasp he gives and the way Leif presses into it eagerly and unsurely makes up for it. Ava presses closer, closer, and Leif grabs her hair and they’re crushing their lips against one another, hardly able to breathe but thriving regardless.

He flips the two of them over by force and Ava gasps as she’s flat on her back. In the same moment Leif kisses her again, harsher this time, and Ava sighs and wraps her legs around his waist, straddling him. He uses one hand to support himself and uses the other to gently cradle her face. 

There are no words to describe how comfortable she is with Leif. She’s happy. All of the Daemos make her happy in their own unique ways, and they all care so deeply. Rhys, with his constant doting and curiosity in her wellbeing. Pierce, with his gentle caresses and physical protectiveness. Noi, with his overeager willingness to help, and his positive attitude. Asch, with his double edged compliments and his quiet trust in her. 

With Leif, she feels like she can trust him. He understands her words completely. She can yell his name and he’ll come running, pulling through with whatever she needs. He’s there, a constant steady (if maniacal) presence. He tries to kill her sometimes, but at this point it’s the same old song and dance. Ava will talk him down from murder, and she’ll dissuade him from trying again when her eyes are closed again. Leif will smirk and gracefully get up from her bed, and waltz back out the door. It’s more an act, just to keep things from getting too heavy, too deep.

‘Look where that got me,’ Ava thinks dryly as she clutches at the back of his hair and groans into another gentle kiss. His teeth snag on her lips again, and she hisses. He pulls away abruptly. Leif’s face is flushed a pretty red, roses to match the thorns jutting out of his hair. 

“You okay? I didn’t accidentally kill you, did I? God, I hope not. We had enough of accidentally killing you when you got sick.” 

“Your teeth are sharp.” She groans, running a thumb over Leif’s lips. He smiles, dimples making themselves known as he swoops down to steal another kiss from her.

Ava laughs, face warm and flushed. She shoves him away, and they engage in a tussle, tossing up sheets as they shriek. Leif snags one of his blades and pins the blanket down so he can grab her.

“I win!” he crows, holding Ava bridal style like a precious prize. She slaps his arm and tries to wiggle out, heart heavy with affection. 

Grinning madly, he runs out of the bedroom, gently slamming the door open with a shoulder check. The rest of the Daemos are sitting in the kitchen or in the living room, trying to eat breakfast peacefully. Rhys is in Ava’s favourite apron, cooking pancakes for everyone. Pierce, Asch and Noi are eating said pancakes, and Noi is in front of the TV, watching Socky. It’s so incredibly domestic.

Upon hearing the crash of the door being shoved open, all of them look up from whatever they’re doing. Asch looks surprised, then his handsome features twist into the much less becoming emotion of anger. Rhys doesn’t even look surprised anymore, more tired than anything. Pierce is… being himself. Noi is confused.

“I won a fight with Princess Ava!” Leif yells, lifting Ava up higher in his arms. 

“What?” Asch snarls. “Why were you fighting the Princess? You should be above that sort of thing!”

“It was a play fight!” Ava says as she tries (and fails) to wiggle out of Leif’s gentle grip.

“No fair! I want to fight with her!” Noi whines.

“You didn’t sleep with her and caress her, so you don’t have any say in the matter!”

Ava flushes bright red. Leif seems to realize what he said, and turns red too. Pierce snaps his head up from where he’s looking at the TV, and Rhys nearly burns his hand on the frying pan.

“LEIF!”

“NO NO NO, NOT LIKE THAT. WE JUST ACTUALLY RESTED TOGETHER!”

“Why were you even in her room, Leif? I thought we all collectively agreed to leave Ava alone at night, so she could get some rest!” Rhys cries, turning the oven element off in a hurry.

“Okay, I might have tried to kill her again-” Leif pauses as Asch chokes on his own spit. “-but Princess Ava was in tears, and I decided to comfort her!”

“Princess Ava, are you okay?” Pierce asks quietly, thick brows furrowing. 

“I am now! Don’t worry, it’s okay now. Me and Leif cuddled and we fell asleep until a few minutes ago.”

Noi comes up to them, and makes grabby hands at Leif. Leif sticks his tongue out and swings Ava away from Noi.

“I won her.” He says petulantly. Noi frowns.

“But it’s my turn to hold her! You got to rest with her, so I would like to cuddle her and cherish her.” Ava flushes at that, and puts her face in her hands. Leif sighs very loudly and places her in Noi’s arms.

“Hi.” Ava says shyly, peeking through the gaps in her fingers.

“Hi, Princess!” Noi says fondly. He brings the two of them towards the couch, and dumps her onto the pillows and blankets, which are tossed haphazardly like paint splotches on a canvas. 

Ava grunts unattractively and grunts again when Noi lies down on her, practically purring and melting in her lap. His salmon hair is gently tousled and his big amber eyes practically beg for affection. Ava sighs and closes her own amethyst eyes before ruffling his hair. He preens at the action, rubbing his head against her stomach.

“Noi, hon, your horns.” She murmurs. 

“Oh, right! Sorry, hehe.” 

Pierce joins the two of them on the couch, lifting their legs and sitting down before placing them back down. He’s so incredibly strong but so, so gentle. It makes Ava’s heart melt. He scoots closer, making himself comfortable, before putting a hand on Noi’s back and giving Ava a small, tentative kiss on the temple.

Asch scowls slightly and tosses an arm around Pierce’s shoulders, and leans into the pile of bodies that’s slowly forming. His horns accidentally jab Pierce in the ear, and Pierce frowns at Asch. Asch rolls his eyes fondly and taps his fingers three times on Pierce’s shoulder, and the blue daemos calms down.

Rhys places a plate of star shaped pancakes (which are slightly lopsided) on the coffee table, their scent intoxicating. He moves some of his locs out of his face and sits at the foot of the couch, not bothering to get onto the couch with Asch, Pierce, Ava and Noi. Ava puts her spare hand on his head, and gently pats it. Rhys purrs almost, a rumble, and he picks up a small pancake bit and pops it into Ava’s mouth.

Leif sits next to Rhys, right below Pierce and Asch and Noi, and he rests his head on Rhys shoulder. He wriggles to get comfortable, and puts his blades on the coffee table and steals a pancake. Asch snorts a small laugh at him, and Noi giggles. 

It’s so tender and domestic, and Ava’s heart feels heavy with the saccharine sweetness of love. Where the yawning void used to be, it’s filled with only light and hope. 

In her life, she’s felt loved by her parents and her passing friendships, but lying here, on the couch with her 5 unexpected roommates, Ava thinks that this is the best she’s ever felt in her life.

“I love you guys.”

“We all love you too.” Pierce murmurs, and Ava feels whole.


End file.
